How to Stop Being Afraid of Romantic Relationships

For many, finding that perfect someone is important. As humans we are born social beings keen to form all sorts of relationships with the people we meet. But being afraid of a romantic relationship is not something to be ashamed of. It happens, and it’s understandable.

Here are things to consider to help you overcome this obstacle.

1. Identify the cause of your fear. Can you think back to when you first decided you were afraid of a relationship? Was it watching your parents fight? Was it seeing the aftermath of a bad relationship?

2. Being afraid of a relationship DOES NOT mean there is something wrong with you. Inviting another person into your world is a big thing. It’s natural to be scared of such a change to your personal life.#  Be confident in yourself. If you truly want a relationship, you will be able to find one. But do not look down on yourself because you are afraid. Everyone is afraid of change.

3. Don’t be impatient. Look not for a partner for the sake of having a partner. There is a distinct difference between finding a partner and finding someone whom you wish would become your partner. That is, don’t look for a relationship because you’re the last one among your friends to have one, or look for one because you think at this age you should’ve at least had some dating experience. That’s not true. Love should blossom from the connection that forms when you meet that someone, not because they answered your ad in the newspaper (albeit it’s not as if that doesn’t work).

4. Don’t feel depressed. Fear is a difficult thing to overcome, and it won’t be overcome easily. Find someone to talk to about your fears, someone who you see as a mentor and are comfortable talking with.

5. Don’t force yourself. If you don’t feel ready for a relationship and someone is pressuring you into one, tell them your fears. If they are truly someone worthwhile they will understand and wait. Otherwise…

6. When you do start that first relationship, start it with someone who is aware of your fear. Let them know your feelings. Set the line before it can be crossed. Make it clear to your partner what you are and are not comfortable with.

7. Have faith. Don’t give up if you feel it’s taking too long to overcome your fear. Don’t give in when your new partner is frustrated with your fear. Don’t expect a fairy tale ending, but work your best to communicate and compromise.

(This post is actually one that I wrote for Wikihow.com, but I thought the information would be useful for a lot of people, thus I’m sharing it here on WordPress as well. Thanks to contributions from the  Wikihow community for helping me perfect this article.)

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5 thoughts on “How to Stop Being Afraid of Romantic Relationships

  1. sara says:

    This is an excellent article for a wiki. I hope it gets lots of hits as it is very positive and well grounded.

    • turnthrice says:

      Thanks so much! I really do think the Wikihow site is an unexpectedly good source of advice, and not just about DIY projects. There are a lot of good writers on the site that volunteer their time to write for others. I’m trying to learn from them 😀

  2. Jackie Paulson 1966 says:

    http://staceyarcher.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/not-now/#comment-1501 That is how I happened to click on your blog and I am glad I did. I loved the article. Relationships are suppose to be with giving 100/100 to each other. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real….so feel the fear and do it anyway. It was so hard when I went though my divorce as it created a fear in me that I judged all men to be unfaithful and that was not the case. I got over it but went though the stages. If you want I have a new blog at http://divorceissues.wordpress.com Jackie

    • turnthrice says:

      Hi Jackie, thanks so much for the feedback. I looked at your blog, and I just have to say I’m really glad you were able to come out of such a difficult situation and rebound with such positive energy! It’s great you took your experience and decided to share your advice with people who may/are going through what you did.

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