Tag Archives: relationships

The Best Mother’s Day Gift Ever

by Eve Rivera

Mother’s Day is the day where mothers receive a card adorned with flowers from their children and flowers adorned with a card from their spouses. I know this day is not a very celebratory day for many individuals, but I hope that I can express the gratitude I have for my mother without irking too many people.

They say that when you are born, half of you comes from your father while the other half comes from your mother. That’s not entirely true. It is true for your genome, but there is so much more in the egg you inherit from your mother that people often take for granted (in terms of the common understanding of the biology of conception). A mother’s egg doesn’t just contain DNA, it also contains organelles and nutrients that go on to support the first cell divisions once egg and sperm combine. So technically, a mother contributes more than half of the necessary components for a potential child.

Should that child become a reality, every year on the day of its birth the child will receive a celebration of its life—a birthday celebration.

On a birthday, we typically get showered in congratulations from people wishing us another year of happiness (or a future one). Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder why we even celebrate birthdays. Of course, I’m a bit biased since it’s been a long time since I stopped looking forward to my birthday. (I’m getting to the best Mother’s Day gift so humour me for a moment.)It’s just another day of the yea

r for me. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful family and group of friends with whom I’ve enjoyed great birthday celebrations. It’s not that I’ve never had the opportunity to celebrate my birthday, it’s more like I couldn’t understand the point of it.

Photo by life begins with 4t

I believe a birthday should be as much a celebration of the mother as the child.  I know this is probably something many people don’t have the privilege of doing… Not everyone has a mother in their life to celebrate (or wish to celebrate). I still can’t help but think that if you are reading this, that in itself is something you can still celebrate on Mother’s Day: you’re alive.

Continue reading

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Why women are choosey and men are flousy

By Danumurthi Mahendra

Take a look at any society in the world and you will see a trend among genders: when it comes to relationships, women are more likely to be the “picky ones,” whereas men are the ones that must impress. In human culture, the need to impress can go both ways but there is actually a biological root to the way our dating culture is designed.

In the majority of sexually reproducing animal species, the female invests more energy to produce offspring than males do. This is energy going to produce eggs, carrying young in the womb, and/or rearing the young after they’ve been introduced to the world. In the case of producing eggs, females have a limited supply of eggs. The average human female will release about 480 eggs in her lifetime, one per month. For some mammalian species, offspring are dependent on their mothers for years; having children is an expensive investment for a female.

Males, on the other hand, do not invest as much into the conception of offspring. In the mammalian kingdom, male parental care is relatively rare. Their prime investment comes from the deposit of sperm. The average human male will produce 66 million sperm per mL of ejaculate. Sperm is relatively cheap in terms of energy cost of production.

So… where does that leave us?

The fact of life is that every individual is biological driven to survive and reproduce. That is the most prime instinct in living beings: to pass on their genes to the next generation. As such, mating with an individual with good genes (genes that encode resistance to disease, strength, etc.) gives oneself the best odds of having healthy offspring to carry on one’s genes.

Females have more to lose during mating than males do; for females to maximize their reproductive success, they must choose the best mate with the best genes. 

Males don’t invest as much in the production of offspring; for males to maximize their reproductive success, they should mate with as many females as they can.

This raises some questions: if human males don’t invest as much in to offspring and are biologically driven to mate with as many females as possible, why does monogamy exist?

The answer is because of the reproductive advantages of parental care. Monogamy exists in a number of species, such as birds and fish. Dating is a result of the evolution of parental care in humans; if a male helps the female rear its young, the male benefits by having a guarantee that its genes are being passed on as healthy offspring. The female benefits by not having to invest as much energy into rearing offspring alone. Since parental care in mammals was traditionally a female role, the male will aid the female by providing food and protection for both its young and its mate. This is where the notion of men being the bread-winners has a biological root.

What does all this biology mumbo-jumbo say about how our societies should run? Well, nothing. This is because we have something that contradicts biological ‘roles’:  culture. Humans are unique in nature for having a drive to live beyond the scope of survival and reproduction. We have come to desire much more than our animalian relatives: knowledge. Any dolphin can desire pleasure or happiness, but only humans crave knowledge. I feel that this is what truly sets human apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

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Why feel?

What is a “heart?”

Ask a biologist and you will be told it is an organ for circulating blood around an animal’s body to ensure distribution of heat and other essentials such as oxygen and hormones. That definition makes perfect sense to me.

Ask a poet and you might be told it is something with which a human can feel; something that makes you cry in agony at one moment and then rejoice at the smallest achievements in the next. This definition does not make sense to me.

Evolution dictates that adaptable traits are maintained within a population because they provide an advantage over individuals that don’t possess that trait. What advantage could emotions have provided us in the wild?

Perhaps it is the advantage of kinship, of developing a social system within which members of the population can prosper by working together to survive. Continue reading

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How to Stop Being Afraid of Romantic Relationships

For many, finding that perfect someone is important. As humans we are born social beings keen to form all sorts of relationships with the people we meet. But being afraid of a romantic relationship is not something to be ashamed of. It happens, and it’s understandable.

Here are things to consider to help you overcome this obstacle.

1. Identify the cause of your fear. Can you think back to when you first decided you were afraid of a relationship? Was it watching your parents fight? Was it seeing the aftermath of a bad relationship?

2. Being afraid of a relationship DOES NOT mean there is something wrong with you. Inviting another person into your world is a big thing. It’s natural to be scared of such a change to your personal life.#  Be confident in yourself. If you truly want a relationship, you will be able to find one. But do not look down on yourself because you are afraid. Everyone is afraid of change.

3. Don’t be impatient. Look not for a partner for the sake of having a partner. There is a distinct difference between finding a partner and finding someone whom you wish would become your partner. That is, don’t look for a relationship because you’re the last one among your friends to have one, or look for one because you think at this age you should’ve at least had some dating experience. That’s not true. Love should blossom from the connection that forms when you meet that someone, not because they answered your ad in the newspaper (albeit it’s not as if that doesn’t work).

4. Don’t feel depressed. Fear is a difficult thing to overcome, and it won’t be overcome easily. Find someone to talk to about your fears, someone who you see as a mentor and are comfortable talking with.

5. Don’t force yourself. If you don’t feel ready for a relationship and someone is pressuring you into one, tell them your fears. If they are truly someone worthwhile they will understand and wait. Otherwise…

6. When you do start that first relationship, start it with someone who is aware of your fear. Let them know your feelings. Set the line before it can be crossed. Make it clear to your partner what you are and are not comfortable with.

7. Have faith. Don’t give up if you feel it’s taking too long to overcome your fear. Don’t give in when your new partner is frustrated with your fear. Don’t expect a fairy tale ending, but work your best to communicate and compromise.

(This post is actually one that I wrote for Wikihow.com, but I thought the information would be useful for a lot of people, thus I’m sharing it here on WordPress as well. Thanks to contributions from the  Wikihow community for helping me perfect this article.)

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